Grow Into an Emotionally Mature Adult
According to Martin Buber, the great Jewish theologian, we treat people as an “it” when we use them as means to an end or as objects. We treat people as a “thou” when we recognize each person as a separate human being made in God’s image and treat them with dignity and respect.
Read
- Luke 10:25-37
- If you were the priest or Levite, what are some of the reasons you may have passed by this man and treated him as an “it” and not a “thou?”
- What did the Samaritan see and feel that the priest and Levite did not?
- Can you think of a time when you were seen in a negative light, or treated as inferior, or passed over as invisible? How did it feel?
- Who have you been taught not to see or to treat as an “it?”
One way of growing in the area of loving others well, and treating ourselves and others as a “thou” is to understand how we manage our expectations in relationships. Expectations are assumptions about what someone should do. Every time I make an assumption about someone without checking it out, it is likely I am treating them as an “it” and not a “thou.” The problem with most expectations is that they are:
- unconscious - those we are not even aware of until we are disappointed by someone
- unrealistic - developed by watching TV, movies, or other people/resources that give false impressions
- unspoken - ones we never told our spouse, friend, or employee and yet we expect and are angry when our expectations are not met
- un-agreed upon - our own thoughts about what was expected that were never agreed upon by the other person
- What steps can you take to make the expectations conscious, spoken, realistic and agreed upon so that you are relating in an “I-thou” way?
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